Well, today was a pretty good day off. I was pretty lazy and had no intention of too much productivity. I was really just planning to help around the house, help with school and maybe play some video games with the boys. In the midst of all this planning or lack of planning, the enemy really started to mess with me. Then the doubt set in.
”Lord, I am under the gun again and really need some back up.”
Not more than 30 minutes later, my bride came running into my room and said, “You have to read or listen to this!” At this moment I was not in the mood to read anything. I was just trying to fight a good fight. So, I said, “OK, I will listen to it tomorrow.” I saw in her an excitement and maybe a disappointment that I was not going to look at it right now. A few minutes later she came in and sat on the bed and started talking about it and reciting the things that she read. At this moment Jesus and I had a heart to heart!
Me: What, it’s my day off!
Jesus: So, you think that just because you are off you don’t need to listen?
Me: No, I just am trying not to fall into believing this doubt about…..me……
Jesus: Maybe, I am trying to help you! Maybe I have a blessing for you but you are not willing to look at what I am giving you!
Me: Lord, please forgive me!
Jesus: It is finished, done….look at what I have for you!
At this point I would have read, listened and wrote anything. I just wanted what Jesus had for me. I just wanted to kick the devil in his teeth. So, I listen to what Marcia had brought to me. I not only listened, I read it and I highlighted it and underlined it. Then I saw what God wanted me to see. It was a confirmation of what God has been teaching me and letting me see. I saw that He was telling me and I knew that the enemy was in trouble.
If you are reading this you probably want to know what I heard and read. In time I might write about it, but for now you will have to wait. I just wanted to tell you what I learned about me and about Jesus. What I learned is that Jesus never gives up on me. He may let me go to places that He really doesn’t want me to go (it’s not good for me – whatever it is), because He wants me to learn to lean on Him. But this doesn’t mean that He is turning His back on me. Romans 1:28-32 teaches that God delivers people over to a “worthless mind”. Because they did not give His plan (knowledge) even a thought. So, he says, “OK, if you think your plan is better…I will let you go!” But it is not to leave me or to turn on me. Jesus is always looking for ways to come to my rescue. He is listening to my cries for Help and He will show up! He did show up. Not only did He answer my prayers for that moment, He went beyond and confirmed some things for my future. He spoke into life into me! Now, I will say that not everything went the way I wanted them to today. But I am OK with that because He is teaching me to walk everyday with Him. God reminded me that I was chosen by Him and He will see me though!
Learning to Walk,