How many times have I see people hurt or go through something where I have really tried to put myself in their place. I really do try to do this and practice empathy for people. Well, today was another day of this. It makes you ask a lot of question, questions that people may not like or even questions that cause you to ask more questions. So, I sit here tonight asking questions.
Why is it that when we lose someone close to us we feel guilty because we could have done better with our testimony about Christ? Is it that the enemy knows that this is where he can really hurt us? Is it what we have been taught to do by teachers and preachers? Is it God putting these things on our hearts? Is He saying, “You see should have done better.” Are we supposed to feel guilt when something like this happens or are we supposed to feel loss? I guess I am just trying to figure out the why. I feel like I am supposed to have all the answers but I don’t. I feel like something has gone wrong with the way we perceive the “end” of things and life.
In my heart I know that this guilt comes from the enemy! I know my Jesus is not standing there pointing a figure at me saying, “You did not do enough!” I know my God is BIG! He is bigger than my understanding and comprehension. He is bigger than my hurt! He is bigger than my sin! He is bigger than all the things I can do, say or memorize! He is! He is even bigger than my good deeds and He is bigger than my mistakes! He is bigger than my health and He is bigger than my death! He is! He is Bigger than my doctrine and He is bigger than my words! He is bigger than my fears! He is bigger than my joys! He is! He is bigger than my sorrow and He is bigger than my love! He is! He is! He is!
So, if God is so BIG why do I put Him in a box? A box that is built our of a human understanding that is limited, a box that is built out of fear, a box that is out of the stuff of our past. So, I ask myself, is that how small our God is? I can really put Him in a box? These questions must be answered. Is He or isn’t He?
I am reminded of a story in the book of John, chapter 11 (John 11:1-44). This story is about Lazarus who died and everyone thought that it was over. They put him in a tomb, sealed it and start to morn. But it was not over and Jesus showed up and what was thought to be the end turned out to be the beginning. This is not the only time we see this in scripture (that the end was really the beginning). I think that sometime Christians are quick to say it’s over or it’s the end. What we really have done is placed God in a box. I know that I have looked at people and counted them out. I know that I have even stopped caring because I thought it was done. Lord, forgive me!
Lord, please help me not put you in a box. Let me have hope that you are never done with me. May I see the “beginnings” in all the situations around me. May I be a hope giver and a peace maker. Let me be a true light in the darkness that is so prevalent in this world. May I stand like Psalm 91:1-16 which tells us to stand in the shadow of the almighty! Amen and Amen!
Learning to Walk,